Realization
I was just getting on my feet after the first hospitalization of my new diagnosis of schizophrenia. I was lucky, …or kind of, the medication was working to some measure. I was still pretty shaky with paranoia and residues of the hallucinations.
It was a beautiful spring day though I wasn’t into it. I was looking for work and had a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. The anxiety was building as I entered what was called the Man Power Office. I went to the reception window and asked to see about courses. I was told to wait in a seating area.
A young lady with a pleasant face called me to enter her cubicle. She motioned that I sit before her desk. She asked what my situation was and what was I looking for. I told her I was in recovery with schizophrenia. She sighed and with a conciliatory voice said there are no programs for people like me. Even though she was being gentle with me the words stabbed me in the heart, and I repeatedly heard those words over and over again in my life. I’m middle aged now.
I admit things are better now but the institutional discrimination still goes on. Mostly it’s because the institutions don’t know how to deal with the mentally ill. The mentally ill are in more of a state of wellness and cannot be ignored any more.
Written by Charlie
